Welcome to the Bay City Grapevine

The Saga of Sunflower Offshore Boring
by John Sollman

Sunflower Offshore Boring, a pioneer in deep sea oilfield exploration, has been a mainstay of world oil production for more than 50 years, ever since the world discovered that its supplies of easily-accessible oil would soon be depleted.

With most of the reasonably-shallow offshore oil fields now running on empty, Sunflower Offshore Boring, which had adopted as its corporate logo the acronym SOB as being more evocative of its true business model, pioneered deep-water drilling techniques to enable oil extraction from depths as great as the bottom of the Marianas Trench at the lowest cost.

But on April 20, disaster struck SOB. A massive escape of natural gas, which somehow got past a brand new blowout preventer, exploded and destroyed the Deep-Seated Derision, SOB's newest deepwater oil drilling platform. Underwater cameras later confirmed that oil was leaking from several ruptures in the oil riser, which had crumpled to the ocean floor with the platform's collapse.

SOB CEO Toby Wayward was quick to respond from the deck of "Oleaginous," his 78-foot yacht, that there was no problem. The drilling platform and blowout preventer were still under warranty.

Wayward could not take further questions because he had to rig sail for a port tack.

Contacted later, after completing the first day of his yacht race, Wayward assured the world that only miniscule amounts of oil were leaking from the well. When pressed for a more definitive response, Wayward asserted that the amount of oil gushing from the well was unimportant when compared to the challenge of capping the well and stopping the leakage. Wayward declined to take further questions, as he had to prepare the "Oleaginous" for round two of the Channel Islands Regatta.

The Deep-Seated Derision disaster came as a shock to the oil exploration community, because it was SOB which wrote the book on deep sea drilling safety and blowout prevention.

In fact, the Minerals Manglement Section of the Department of the Inferior had relied heavily upon SOB's research, published drilling precautions and disaster recovery plans as a basis for its edicts, manuals and directives governing deep sea oil drilling.

These rules and policies were the product of lengthy negotiations between Minerals Manglement and SOB aboard the "Oleaginous" or at the Norbeak Country Club's 19^th hole. SOB provided top Minerals Manglement bureaucrats golf club memberships at Norbeak to afford them a more congenial venue to develop their strong cooperative relationships with SOB.

In video finally released by SOB, high resolution cameras lowered to the wellhead confirmed that earlier estimates of escaping oil in the range of 10,000 to 12,000 barrels a day were a bit low, and that a more accurate figure would be in the range of 60,000 to 80,000 barrels. Wayward commented from the bridge of the "Oleaginous," racing across the Atlantic Ocean, that his own scientists advised him that only 25,000 barrels were escaping.

A senior SOB executive, speaking anonymously because he was not authorized to talk to the press, said the company was in the process of executing its disaster recovery plan, which would assure that Gulf wildlife, including sea lions and walruses, would not be harmed by the leaking oil. This plan had worked well when applied to minor test spills in Prudhoe Bay. There was some consternation when it was discovered that some of the "on call" science advisors named in the plan had been dead for years.

When grilled by Congress a few days later, Wayward, speaking via videoconference from his Bermuda golf club, assured that "all legitimate claims would be honored," and that company studies assured that "no wildlife would be harmed."

But the White House, wanting to be sure that all legitimate claims would be paid, conducted a marathon negotiating session with the CEO of SOB America to create a $20 billion relief fund over four years to pay damage claims. At the same time, the White House named retiring Coast Guard Commandant Ted Alden to direct recovery efforts.

Scientists reported observing that underwater oil plumes had developed. Wayward, speaking from his jet ski in Nassau, flatly denied that there were any oil plumes, but ordered the generous application of an oil dispersant, just in case.

With their fishing, shrimping and oystering grounds closed to sport and commercial production, gulf fishermen lined up for jobs applying the dispersant. Days later they all complained of feeling ill from breathing the dispersant fumes. Wayward, speaking from his bank in the Cayman Islands, flatly denied that there was any problem with the air, and that the complainers probably had the stomach flu.

With the establishment of cleaning stations to clean heavily oiled pelicans and other sea birds, SOB immediately issued a request for proposals to recover the oil from the birds for reprocessing.

Announcing the request for proposals over a videoconferencing circuit from his 83^rd floor executive suite in Dubai Towers, Wayward was heard to say, "I just want my life back."

Several attempts to cap the well, including stuffing it with golf balls and broken golf clubs, failed. Answering to the Congress, the acting head of Minerals Manglement said that it had waived the normal requirements to drill relief wells and test blowout preventers because SOB was highly skilled in deepwater oil exploration and did not require close regulation.

SOB said it had received no proposals to recover oil from pelicans for reprocessing.

Wayward, again speaking from the tiller of the "Oleaginous," proclaimed that SOB had lots of cash and that "all legitimate claims would be paid."

SOB tried seven more schemes to stop or capture the escaping oil, with mixed results. Speaking from the wheelhouse of the "Oleaginous" as it entered round two of the Shetland Island Yacht Race, Wayward stated that SOB had so far paid out $9,000 in claims and more than $90 billion in damage control, and asserted that SOB had plenty of cash on hand to pay for the recovery.

SOB stock tanked. Wayward, speaking from his yacht broker's office, assured that SOB would "pay all legitimate claims and resume normal operations as soon as the well is capped."

In December the Congress declined to approve an extension of unemployment assistance and food stamps for the masses still idled by the closure of all fishing in the Gulf. Most members of congress bemoaned their inability to support extending the assistance because no offsetting savings could be found.

On day 240 following the spill, Congress approved a $550 billion bailout of SOB, because it was "too big to be allowed to fail." Wayward awarded all top SOB executives hefty Christmas bonuses in recognition of their brilliant performance during the Gulf blowout crisis, which continues unabated.

City Councilors come and go while the sparks fly
By John Sollman

BAY CITY March 20, 2010 --- The revolving door to the Bay City Council chambers is working well.

On March 9, Attorney Lois Albright administered the oath to newly-appointed Councilor Robert Pollock, whom the Bay City Council appointed to replace Ron Tewalt.

At the end of the March 9 Council meeting, Councilor Amy Fullan resigned from the Council because she is moving out of town. Fullan's seat will be filled through another appointment.

The Council, on a three/two vote, appointed John Gettman president of the City Council, replacing Ron Tewalt in that position. The president presides over Council meetings in the absence of the mayor, and has authority to sign checks, also in the absence of the mayor. But that appointment would be short lived.

More . . .

New Bookmobile on its way --- also salmon eggs
By John Sollman

BAY CITY March 20, 2010 --- Friends of the Library held their long-overdue semiannual meeting today at the Bay City Community hall. The Friends last met March 21, 2009, one year ago. The Friends would have met last September in Garibaldi, but for the death of Friends of the Library president Pat Peterson last August. Pat Vining wielded the gavel as president pro tempore.

But things have come together quite nicely during the hiatus, thanks to a fund-raising spaghetti dinner last August which yielded about $500. But we did learn a lesson at that fund-raiser, said Assistant Librarian Leo Schreiner. "We learned to have some 'to go' plates on hand." Apparently some of the diners preferred to have their pasta in the park.

Schreiner also announced that the new Bookmobile would be departing soon for its final destination, its reserved parking slot at the Tillamook County Library. "It's due April 14," Schreiner noted, to which a member shot back, "Tell 'em to drive carefully!"

But the major announcement of the meeting was made by County Librarian Sara Charlton: The library board has approved a salmon propagation project at the Bay City branch library as a science education feature.

Diane Griffin, who had introduced salmon propagation as a science class project for her fourth and fifth graders at Garibaldi Grade School, was disappointed that the project was not continued following her retirement.

Each January, about 250 Chinook eggs were placed in her classroom fish tank. The children watched the eggs hatch into tiny fish; saw how the fish got their nourishment from the egg sacs clinging to their bellies; and observed how the sacs disappeared and slits in the fish's bellies closed up. Then it was off to Patterson Creek to launch the little guys on their journey to the sea. The children learned firsthand now Nature works if given the chance, and how that chance depends upon having clean water and a clean environment.

Griffin still has her license to rear baby salmon, and the Trask Fish Hatchery is providing some of the equipment needed. Local children will once again be able to benefit from Griffin's resourceful and innovative environmental science project.

Vining brought the Friends up to date on Bay City's planned Centennial Celebration on Labor Day weekend, and displayed one of the tee shirts sporting a picture of old Bay City, which will soon go on sale to raise funds for the Centennial.

Charlton also announced that the library's photos of old Bay City could be made available to the Arts Center for display during the Centennial.

The Bay City and Garibaldi branch libraries each received $5 thousand to make needed improvements during the summer, including new carpeting, paint and some furniture. Also, Charlton advised, the libraries will now have copies of the Oregonian for patrons to read.

Since there had been no meeting for a whole year, it was assumed that all members owed some dues. Several members suggested tiered memberships, depending on amounts contributed. Joe Wrabeck recommended an Adopt a Book program and suggested, tongue-in-cheek, the following membership tiers:

Paperback Membership: $10. You get into any County library for free.

Volume Membership: $25. Any member of your family gets in for free.

Encyclopedia Membership: $100. You can get into other libraries for free; and, you get the tee shirt and a discount on extra tee shirts purchased.

World Wide Web Membership: $500. You get nothing, but you're virtually satisfied.

The Friends agreed to meet September 11 at the Garibaldi branch library and elect officers at that time. They will hold a second fundraiser at the Bay City Community Hall September 18.

Game's afoot to resurface the outdoor tennis court
By John Sollman

BAY CITY Feb. 24, 2010 --- Mayor Shaena Peterson, appearing before the Bay City Boosters Club February 19, announced that a grant request to Tillamook P.U.D. was nearing completion to help fund Phase One of the project to resurface the Bay City outdoor tennis court.

Phase One will remove the existing asphalt covering of the court and replace it with a two-inch lift, a prerequisite of the U.S. Tennis Association for installation of a regulation playing surface. Phase One will include engineering, grading and improving drainage, preparing and compacting the sub-base, leveling and applying the two-inch asphalt lift.

More . . .

Surviving the Big One
By John Sollman

BAY CITY Jan. 15, 2010 —Mayor Shaena Peterson held a Town Hall meeting last December to urge Bay City residents to make preparations to survive a disaster. We've seen many major storms that produce landslides in the mountains and cut the Coast off from the Valley for from several days to several weeks. The December 2007 storm was such a disaster --- some of us would liken it to a major disaster --- but it pales in comparison to a major subduction quake offshore followed by a tsunami: the so-called "Big One."

More . . .

Rails to nowhere
By John Sollman

BAY CITY Nov. 23, 2009 --- 1911 was a big year for Tillamook County. That was the year modern rail transportation arrived. The Pacific Railroad and Navigation Company, incorporated in October 1905, punched a rail line through the Coast Range and down the Salmonberry Canyon, ultimately meeting up with the other end of the line under construction from Tillamook northward through Bay City, Garibaldi, Rockaway Beach and Wheeler. The completed line initially offered Portlanders a scenic eight-hour trip to luxuriate on Oregon's magnificent beaches, a welcome alternative to suffering mal de mer aboard the Elmore or the Argo and braving the hazards of bar crossings at Astoria and Garibaldi.

More . . .

Fireplace and chimney inspections urged
By Don Reynolds, Bay City Fire Chief

BAY CITY OCt. 13, 2009-- On Friday, October 8, the Fire Department responded to a chimney fire in Bay City. The circumstances of this fire pointed out several lessons that everyone must be aware of. The occupants had been painting and had not reinstalled the smoke alarms after finishing the paint job.

Lesson number one: Smoke alarms don't work unless they are properly installed and have good batteries in them.

Lesson number two: Inspect the fireplace or wood stove to be sure it has good internal integrity before starting a fire. If you're not sure, have a qualified inspector look at the unit.

The fire in the fireplace was burning down when the occupants noticed the smell of smoke and noted smoke in the upstairs portion of the house.

Lesson number three: Call 911 as soon as you are aware of a problem in the house.

All went well as far as lesson three was concerned, and the fire department was on scene 8 minutes from the time the residents called.

The fireplace had cracks in it that allowed fire to migrate outside the chimney and created a fire in the wall of the house. The firefighters had to open the wall to get at the fire, causing some damage to the wall that will have to be repaired. Fortunately, no one was injured; only a small amount of damage was done to the house, so repair costs should not be too high.

These folks were lucky. Everyone should take a minute to review their own house for the lessons learned. November 1 is our return to Standard Time, and this makes it a good time for you to check your smoke alarms and make sure your house is fire safe. If you would like a fire audit of you home for your own benefit, please contact the fire station at 503-377-0233 and leave a message if no one is there. We will get back to you.

But, do not call that number if you have a fire or medical emergency. For those kinds of issues, CALL 911.

The Bay City/Tillamook newspaper wars of 1891-‘93
By Peter B. Smith

BAY CITY Oct. 10, 2009 — On June 8, 1888, with word of a town being platted to the North at Obet Thomas’ Landing by timber cruiser Winfield Scott Cone, Tillamook businessmen started a staunchly Republican propaganda organ called the Tillamook Headlight.

Cone dubbed his town Bay City after his home town in Michigan. Backed by Salem businessmen, Bay City was deemed a threat to Tillamook politicians and real estate speculators, whose fortunes depended on Tillamook’s remaining the center of county commerce.
That year, Cone and C.E. Wilson purchased 52 acres of land from Washington and Martha Jacoby, which the Jacobys had purchased from Martha’s uncle, John Monroe. He, in turn, had inherited it from an earlier settler, Obet S. Thomas, in 1882. More. . .